Just as sports figures have player friends, actors have actor friends, it goes without saying, writers have writer friends. But, I said it anyway. I think that makes me a bad writer!! Well, that’s my topic, so even if it was bad writing, it was an excellent segue.
All writers are faced with the same problem when it comes to reviewing a friend’s work. What to do, what to do…if you don’t like it, or it’s just not good? Even if you think the book is okay…that’s just a three star rating on Amazon. Can you really give a three star and expect to remain friends? I think not.
Therefore, how much faith can we put in all those ratings? I think it’s safe to say a large portion, especially first reviews will be from friends or family. In my case, mostly friends. I couldn’t pay my family to read or review my work, except for two members and they only did because they’re in my will and was afraid I’d cut them out!
On the flip side of the coin, I never believe four or five star reviews given to my books if they come from friends or family. I automatically consider they’ve done it just to be nice. I love those reviews from complete strangers, because I know they don’t care if they hurt my feelings or not.
Also, the recommended review I got from Mid-West reviews was nice to receive. They have no personal relationship with me and no reason to lie about liking my book.
In the past few years, I’ve read books, that had I been honest, would have only given a two star rating. The writing was redundant. The story had massive plot holes. Way too much passive voice. More telling than showing and although, the writing may have been technically correct, the story was boring.
The thing that bothers me most about having to lie in a review, is that I really feel honesty would be helpful. Maybe not in a public review, but a private email telling them because of friendship, I gave them a four star on web-sites, but because I hoped to help them improve future novels, I really felt the book deserved less, and then list the reasons.
But, who am I kidding? Even that, said in private, would more than likely strain a relationship. It’s like asking someone if your butt looks big in a pair of jeans. Do you really want them to say…yeah, it does. Not likely.
Sometimes, I think it would be best to make a policy NOT to read friend’s novels. That way, the pressure is off. Then, I could read it without them knowing and if I loved it, leave a review. If I didn’t…no harm…no foul.
Once this blog is out, all my friends are going to be asking themselves…I wonder if she’s talking about me? Well, I’ll never tell, so don’t bother to ask. I value friendship above five stars, that’s why I lie in the first place.
What about you? Does it bother you to lie, or do you feel that’s your responsibility as a friend to be supportive?
I wonder if she’s talking about me?
No, really, I completely agree. I recently read a writer friend’s second novel and it just wasn’t as good as the first (NOT you, Ann!). It would have benefited from another rewrite, definitely. Instead of reviewing, I sent her an honest email. It was hard to be honest, but I think it was better than leaving a lying review.
Thanks, Linda.
HA! I can honestly say all the books I’ve reviewed from TNBW site that have gone on to be published are true reviews. I feel those reviews I’m talking about would have benefited so much for a writing/critique site, but so many authors choose to let only their friends help edit their books. Many are not even writers…so they don’t pick up on some of the problems. They can do grammar and punctuation, but for me, I’ll overlook those errors if the story is good.
I think you have a great point. In the future, I plan to not review a book if I can’t be honest about it. That’s not helpful to anyone. It makes me feel terrible and doesn’t help the author.
Thanks for commenting.
~Ann
Is it me!? Is it me!!!!???
Just kidding.
I do read and review friends and I’m totally honest in the reviews. That being said, I haven’t had to give anyone less than a 4…yet. AHHH!
I have friends give me 4’s all the time. It doesn’t bother me at all, though my husband says he’s going to call them ask what they were thinking. Recently, I had a friend give me a 3. No matter what the review said, I still would have loved and cherished the friend as well as what they had to say about what needed to be improved. Ironically, the review was glowing and they said they hoped it was turned into a film. Huh? Oh, well. Now when people click on my lowest rating, that too will be a good review! I think if a friend published a truly deplorable, unreadable book,I would have to decline to leave a review privately.
Great food for thought Ann!
Hi Emily,
Thanks for taking the time to comment. I actually ask friends to not leave five star ratings! I think when you read reviews and they only have five stars, that’s a give away that maybe all those people are friends and family!! Even the most popular best selling authors get less than five stars. Face it, not everybody is going to like what we write and if they don’t, they’re not going to give a good review regardless of how well the book is written.
I think I even have a one star review from someone who finished the book…that alone made me laugh. If I’m reading a book I don’t like, I don’t finish it!! Why torture myself? Although I don’t like getting bad reviews, I do respect the fact they took the time to leave one and gave their honest opinion.
Thanks again for stopping by.
~Ann
I think you have to balance the lying with a little bit of reality. The writer might be your bestest friend in the whole world, but come on, holes are holes, telling is telling, and redundancy kills a story. Be as honest as the strength of your friendship will allow. If you don’t point out a few flaws at least, the writer will know you’re lying any way. If you have to–go anonymous and leave a review that reflects your feelings. 🙂
Thanks, Lira for taking the time to comment. If the person is a close friend, one I know would take negative remarks well, then I agree with you. However, as you know, some writers think everything they write is NYT Best Seller list quality!! I guess we have to consider each review and decide what to do about them. I’ve turned over a new leaf…if the book is just awful, I’m not going to leave a review. I’ll feel much better about it. Thanks again for reading.
This is truly a delimma. But since I profess to be a guardian of teh truth – and am, and don’t believe (for me and those grandsons I’m rearing) there’s ever a good enough reason to lie – present blogger accepted and loved, Patti, I don’t mean to slam you for lying, but I just can’t. And therefore, I just do not review those books. If I can’t give it a 4 or a 5, I just don’t leave any review. I hope the friend-writer will never ask why,
but if they do, I must say true,
it’s because you wouldn’t like my review!
HUGS to you! This was a good topic!
Hi Caryl,
Thanks for reading my blog and commenting. It is a major dilemma for me and I’ve only been forced to do a false review a couple of times. Although, I agree it’s never good to lie, in those two cases when I knew the truth would be so hurtful, I chose to do so. That’s just me.
However, since those two, I’ve given myself permission to not review a book that I didn’t like or was written so poorly, it didn’t deserve a good rating. I’ve also decided if I don’t like a book, I’m not obligated to finish it. Up until recently, I finished every book I started because I felt compelled to do so. Not anymore. Maybe it’s my age and I realize I don’t have enough time left in life to spend on things I don’t enjoy.
Just so you know, I don’t feel slammed at all. I think you set a good example. Not only for writers, but everyone.
HUGS back atcha!